Alchemy and a statement of purpose.

Why we are here on this planet is, first and foremost, to enjoy it. The abundance of flavors and culture that lay before us is nearly infinite and, some of us, will barely leave the things we know well, chicken, ketchup, french fries, a cheeseburger. Not to say that these things are all that bad. They are absolutely delicious. However, to not jump outside of that is just atrocious. Fear not, my champions of the mediocre and mundane, there is something much worse than you: The Foodie.
The Foodie is one of the most awful parts of social networking to come to life since the first myspace pages were created. This creature probably "yelps," is probably not someone with any sort of authority in the industry, bases opinion largely on assumptions, and most importantly, has horrible taste. They also frequent popular food spots and hope to get a "taste" for "cheap."
If you are not willing to spend money on what you try, forget it. If the service is shit, it's probably because you weren't worth the time. If you order a girly drink, you won't get drunk. It's all this common sense crap that The Foodie misses.
This blog is for those of us that are serious. It's not just that we love going out to eat, we know what we like. We don't order something just because we hear about it. If the dish has 5 things we know we dislike, we are not going to order it. We will be polite and courteous to the staff. We will order what we want and not worry about the consequences of those orders. We will eat it and it will be good, because we are educated in the matters of quality consumption. Some of us are industry, some of us are lifelong subscribers to this philosophy. The point is that if you haven't been in it, known someone who has been in it, or don't care to learn about it than you are just a hole to put things in. You don't fully appreciate the work that has been done to put that piece of deliciousness in that hole.

And that is why you may be a Foodie, but I Am Not.

On to happier places.....

Alchemy is loosely translated as taking a common, mundane substance and turning it into gold, or something just as valuable. This little restaurant in South Park has truly done so. It's so freaking comfortable. It's cozy, and warm, and all around awesome. Now, where most places will have a fried calamari with cocktail, or tartar sauce, Alchemy's Calamari de Cadiz is sauteed with a saffron butter, and served with not nearly enough bread, but I'll manage. I will drink the excess broth if necessary. I don't mind the lack of  bread though, because it frees up stomach space for other deliciousness. Their new street food section of the menu makes everything sound wonderful, but I went for the samosas. They were fried and full of peas and potato with this awesome spicy green sauce that had hints of cinnamon and maybe cardamom. Don't quote me on that, but these definitely caught the happy end of the Indian food spectrum. I take that back. I don't think Indian food has a sad side, but if it did this would've been the happy side.
The most incredible thing about this place: If I order a burger medium-rare, it hits my table medium-rare. Not to mention that it has spanish Mahon cheese on it, and that there is enough cheese on it to make little stringies hang out of your mouth when you take a bite. Too good. If it doesn't make stringies there is not enough cheese. Their Pernil aka chimichurri pork shoulder is fall off the bone tender. You just don't see this type of quality. Service is always epic here, but Sabrina is too freakin sweet to leave out of this. My dining partner and I love her. She has been our server twice and so far she is the best, which would make her, the best of the best because like I said the service is epic.

There is a drink here that has become one of my all-time favorites. It is almost "buy the ingredients so I can make it at home" good. That's really good, because the ingredients are strange ones. Zubrowka Bison Grass  Vodka, Dubonnet, and egg whites, oh yes, egg whites. I should say that pregnant women should not eat raw eggs, but well, let's be honest, you probably shouldn't be drinking either. This drink is like naughty cream soda, and it is called the Bitter Buffalo, which is a little reminiscent of Modest Mouse lyrics, which is my fav band and the reason I ordered this in the first place. The only reason I don't make them at home is because occasionally, I have to leave and work, or do other activities that allow me to lead a life. not a good life mind you, just a life.

On that note, I bid you adieu and suggest you try Alchemy if you have a serious appreciation for quality and locality of ingredients, otherwise, go to Hodad's ya fucking foodie.